Blogher'11 Blues

I was looking forward to the Blogher'11 conference and meeting lots of cool women and going to the famous parties. All the posts and all the chatter about previous conferences conjured up a picture in my head of an incredibly fun inspiring event. I imagined all the women I would talk to and all the things we would have in common. I imagined sitting around a table with several other women sipping drinks and laughing up a storm about who knows what. It was all so wonderful in my head.

I did get to meet lots of cool women. I didn't get to know them very well. All my interactions were short. The boogie woman of social anxiety reared her ugly head. I just knew that all these women were doing me a favor to even deign to converse with me for a few minutes. I couldn't shake the feeling despite my rocket scientist brain telling me it was bull.

Thursday night I really tried hard to pretend I was OK and not anxious in the hopes I could fake it until it no longer felt fake. I managed to get through the People's party and part of the Queerosphere party before throwing in the towel and retreating to my hotel room at the Best Western in Chula Vista. I felt relieved to be out of the crowds but also lonely. I escaped to my Harry Potter book to forget my woes and be entertained. It worked.

The sessions and speakers on Friday went better for me. I felt less fear when there was a topic to be talked about or an expert to be listened to. Its always been easier for me to be social when being social is not the only thing going on.

I decided to skip the Friday night parties as I couldn't face up to the fears. I decided to save that energy for Saturday's parties. I enjoyed the voices of the year speakers and headed back to my motel in the hopes of a hot tub soak. Alas, the hot tub was broken so I settled for a nice long shower and watching some TV. I was alone but not lonely.

Saturday was a struggle at times. I was getting creeped out by how much social anxiety I was feeling at the conference and I started to dwell on that instead of putting energy into making a space for myself where I was comfortable. I started to think what I loser I was. I would search for tables with no one at them and then bury my nose in a book or in my iPad so no one else would join me and I could be alone. Its like someone just turned off my courage faucet and turned on my fear faucet. I did enjoy the speakers and the sessions I went to and giving blood but the interim times were icky.

The Saturday party I chose to go to was the Aiming Low party. I figured it was aiming low so there wouldn't be as much emphasis put on being super social. But I arrived to find out they were playing a sticker game where the sticker says “You are _________” and you fill in the blank and stick it on a stranger. I guess it was a ice breaker sort of thing but to me it was something I just was not wanting to do. As the sticker woman went away, I got rid of my sticker and I sat there sipping my wine alone at a table until two women asked if they could join me. I said sure and talked with them a bit but my mind was a million miles away dealing with this mountain of fear. I felt tears of frustration that at 50 years of age I'm still dealing with this damn fear I have had since I was 5 years old. Before the tears threatening to spill down my cheeks I excused myself and headed to the restroom to let the tears eke out a little. After I had them under control, I hoofed my way through the hotel lobby to the parking lot and dived into my car for more crying. Sigh. It was all so deja vu.

This isn't the first conference that I have gone to with high hopes of tremendous fun so I don't know why I thought Blogher'11 would be any different than the other conferences I have gone to. I'm mystified as to why I still seem to get this urge to go to conferences. I guess I keep hoping that as I get older I'll kick this social anxiety problem and things will be different. The fantasies of what it will be like are just so good that I overlook the past realities. If the conference did one thing for me though, it did inspire me to write this and that is something good.

Peters Creek Hike at Portola State Park

Saturday I led a hike for GLS to Peter's Creek redwood grove at Portola State Park. The day started in typical bay area fashion with there being no parking at the park-n-ride lot. It was full at 9:00 a.m. I parked on the side of the road just outside the lot and after about 5 minutes someone left the lot and I ran like a bat outta hell to my car and managed to get that valuable parking place. By 9:15 the other hikers showed, just three of them. One had to leave their car along the side of the road. The other, my co-leader, volunteered to drive to Portola so we all tumbled into his car. It was four in all.

We wiggled our way up Page Mill road and down Alpine road and Portola road and got to the park at 10:00 a.m. We paid our state park fee and were off on our hike. The hike started on a paved road in the park that took us to the Summit trail. We hiked up the trail to, what else, the summit. Then we were off on Slate creek trail which runs along a wooded ridge to the Slate creek backpack camp. It was nice to have an outhouse for a bathroom break rather than finding that private spot behind a bush without poison oak! After a short break we hiked on Bear Creek trail three and a half miles when we stopped just short of Peter's Creek trail at a little water fall on Bear Creek with a great log for sitting and eating lunch.


After lunch we hiked the last little bit of Bear Creek trail to Peters Creek trail and then we did the lovely one and a half mile loop around the grove. It is an nearly pristine redwood grove since its so far from the beaten path. The only thing that makes it seem not quite pristine is the memorial signs for patrons who supported the park and of course the trail. There are no names for the trees like in other redwood groves that are more accessible. There are no fences to keep one from walking right up to the trees. Its a wonderful place to hike.



After our wonderful loop around the Peter's creek it was time to climb back up the big hill we descended to get there. I decided to hike up the hill at my fastest pace and planned to wait at the top for folks to catch up. But everyone followed me up the hill at the fast pace. I think we all wanted to get it over with quickly. I did stop once or twice on the way up to admire the views I missed on the way down.

We retraced our steps the rest of the hike. I plodded along for the rest of the hike trying to ignore my sore tired feet and enjoy the quiet of the redwood forest. We finished up our hike at 4 p.m. and were glad to sit in the car and take a load off our feet, me especially. My feet don't usually get this sore on a 13 mile hike but I think I just over did my training for the big Whitney hike the past couple of weeks and did not give my poor old feet a chance to recover. Thankfully the rest of the body served me well. I really can go up hill a blistering pace these days! Its fun to do long day hikes and have energy at the end of the day!

RIP John F. Wilkinson 1940-2010

A really good hiking buddy, John F. Wilkinson, died yesterday. Rest in peace John. You will be fondly remembered by me. I loved it that you kept asking me to be your co-leader on these long challenging hikes despite my slow pace. I felt like we were a good team with me doing the sweeping and you up front with the fast folks. Somehow it was never a problem that I was slow and you were fast. It made for a welcoming hike for all participants. I also loved the Lost Coast backpacks I did with you. I'll remember the long steep hikes up to the ridge tops and the rain soaked night on the beach. I'll miss your stories of hikes I wasn't on where you talked about all your backpack trips and the adventures that ensued.

From CLOGS

Kings Canyon and Book List

Just spent a weekend at Kings Canyon. I drove there after work on Friday and arrived at 8:30 p.m. to discover that there was a forest fire burning in the hills above the canyon. From the campground I looked up and saw an orange glow on the hill side in the distance and after watching for a while saw flames! If you are familiar with the trails in Kings Canyon, the fire was burning around the upper part of the Don Cecil trail. I had hoped to hike on the Don Cecil trail this weekend but obviously no can do!! The smoke from the fire ended up messing up my plans to do two tough hikes this weekend.

Saturday we ended up driving out of the Canyon to the General Grant grove to escape the smoke from the fire and to see the giant Sequoia trees. The trees were very impressive and beautiful but the short 1/2 mile trail was full of tourists from tour buses. It was not exactly a wilderness experience with the trails so crowded with people. We ate our packed lunch at the trees though and enjoyed ourselves. We mostly enjoyed being able to breath deeply and not breath in smoke. After the hike we headed back to the canyon and found a section of the King River that was far from the smoke and spent a couple hours napping, reading, and watching the rapids of the King River from a warm flat rock right next to the river. At 5 we headed back to the campground. It was still smoky. It was a slow burning fire and the smoke will probably last till next weekend according to Deb, the fire expert ranger. I finished off the day by having dinner at the snack bar in the air conditioned snack bar area. I had a BLT, potato chips, and a glass of orange juice. When I returned to the camp ground we sat around the camp fire talking. It seemed odd to be sitting around a camp fire with a big fire burning on the hill in the distance. I hit the hay at 9 p.m.

I got up at 6 a.m. this morning and decided to escape the smoky canyon and drive home. I couldn't see trying to hike in the smoky canyon area and I had seen enough of the stuff that was away from the smoke. So I drove the 4 hour and 45 minute drive home at 7 a.m. I got home just before noon and had marvelous afternoon snoozing and watching the PGA golf championship.

I'm off on vacation soon and this afternoon put together a nice pile of books to bring with me to read. Here is the list:

Killing Orders by Sara Paretsky
Pattern Recognition by William Gibson
The No 1 Ladies' Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith
The Echo Maker by Richard Powers
The Bostonians by Henry James
Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris
Living Dead in Dallas by Charlaine Harris
U is for Undertow by Sue Grafton
Animythical Tales by Sarah Totton

I doubt I will get them all read in 10 days but I would rather have too many books than too few!!

Last Weekend's Hikes

Last weekend I went on two hikes: Pogonip in Santa Cruz and Pinnacles just east of Soledad.

The Pogonip hike was with Gay and Lesbian Sierrans. Only three of us showed up and all of us were hike leaders so we decided to make it an unofficial trip and do a route that was slightly more adventurous. At the start of the hike, the others told me that the Pogonip name stands for POlo, GOlf, and NIP as in have a nip of a drink. Pogonip used to be the home of a golf course, a polo course, and a clubhouse with a bar. We hiked past the old clubhouse which was abandoned but looked like it might be fixed up at a later date. After passing the club house we were surprised to see several people playing bike polo on an old tennis court. Alas we did not see anyone playing any kind of golf but we did see an overgrown field that was probably part of the old golf course. We continued our hike to the other end of Pogonip and left the park to wander back to our cars through the university of Santa Cruz. Its a beautiful campus and we managed to stay mostly away from the roadways but not away from the asphault. Still it was nice to see UCSC. We saw a swim meet going on and saw students with banana slug sweatshirts. The banana slug is UCSC's mascot. After the athletic fields we paused to check out the map on the GPS to figure out how to get back to Pogonip and the cars. We figured it out quick and made our way back to the cars in about 5 minutes. After the hike we had a nice lunch at a place called The River. I had a delicious turkey, bacon, avocado sandwich. It was a very pleasant mellow hike.

Sunday was Pinnacles. I went hiking with my hiking buddy, L. We left at 8 a.m. and made it to the western entrance by 10:30 a.m. We headed up the Juniper Canyon trail. There were many purplish magenta flowers that neither of us could identify. There was lots of very healthy looking poison oak too but all of it easy to avoid. The trail switched back and forth uphill to the high peaks. I was happy to be in good condition and not feel like I was gasping for breath as we climbed. At the high peaks we talked to the ranger there and a field biologist who studies condors. There had been a condor chick born at Pinnacles but they had to remove the chick from the nest last week as it had high levels of lead in its blood stream. The chick is now being raised in captivity at an LA zoo. We had a fascinating conversation with the field biologist (who L knew well) all about condors. Well at least L. did. I must confess to listening for a while and then wandering off to look at the old nest and enjoy the high peaks. After chatting with the field biologist and ranger we headed off to explore the high peaks and hike on the cool part of the trail where steps were blasted from the rock and poles have been installed on steep sections. Its an incredible feat of trail creation. We found a nice shady spot at high peaks and had our lunch there enjoying the view of the green hillsides from on high. After lunch we descended back to the Juniper Canyon trail on the tunnel trail. It had been ages since I had been that way and it was fun to see the tunnel again. We got back to the parking lot around 2 p.m. It was quite a glorious day at Pinnacles. The weather was cool for May which made the hiking super comfortable. We got back to San Jose around 4 p.m. and I was home and in a hot shower by 5 p.m.

Palo Alto Baylands

Palo Alto Baylands is sort of my home park. Its just a five minute drive from my condo. When my hiking buddy, L, cancelled on the Pinnacles hike we planned today, I decided to go on a solo hike at the Baylands. I had a blast.

When I started the hike rain arrived, but it didn't last that long. I got just a bit damp but not soaked. The sky views were incredible all day long as the clouds and blue sky and rain rolled in and out. Gnats were abundant at times and seemed to come in clouds. I saw the usual small airplanes landing and taking off from the Palo Alto airport and I saw some jets way up in the air on their way to and from the SF airport or the SJ airport. I saw the usual assortment of sea birds: ducks, geese, pelicans, coots, gulls, herons, egrets, and more whose names don't roll off my tongue. I saw one hare disappearing into the bushes but that was my only wild mammal sighting of the day. I did see quite a few dogs being walked and of course human beings enjoying the park as I was. I saw quite a few snails.

I made it to the nature center around 10 a.m. I always enjoy walking out the board walk and seeing the San Francisco bay, the Coyote Hills, and the Dumbarton bridge. On the way back I stopped by at the duck pond and took some pictures of the Bird Migration Sanctuary that I never really knew was there before. Discovering new stuff on a hike you have been on lots of times is fun. I then hiked back to the small dam and crossed it and headed back to the cars while watching some very dark clouds approach. About a mile away from the end of the hike the wind picked up and ripples covered the water and then the rain just came pouring down. I was poured on for about 5 to 10 minutes and it was wet wet wet and cold cold cold. Phew! But before I knew it, it was over and heading off across the bay to the east bay. I kept up a very fast pace to stay warm as I hadn't really worn the proper cloths to stay warm when wet. I was somewhat amazed though that before I ever got back to the car, the blue sky returned and the sun came out. Wow. What a fast fierce storm! I reached the car at 11:30 a.m. and headed home for a nice hot shower. It was a fun hike and it felt very adventurous to have been poured on so vigorously.

El Corte De Madera Hike

I went on a delightful hike at El Corte De Madera open space preserve today. We met at the Woodside park-n-ride lot and I managed to get the last available space. One person had to park on a side road nearby and the other person volunteered to do the driving so we were all set. We were surprised on our drive up 84 that there were not that many bikes. We reached Skegg's Point parking and there were still plenty of parking spaces there. We parked and headed off on our hike. One note: there is no bathroom (not even an outhouse) at Skegg's point. I had to make a visit to the woods a bit into our hike instead.

It was a very mellow hike with only three of us. I enjoyed that this park is not so popular so we didn't have to share it with lots of people. We mostly ran into mountain bikers but fortunately all the bikers were polite respectful bikers not the kind that go too fast and nearly run over hikers. Wild flowers are still wonderful and we saw lots of forget me nots and some others that none of us could identify but all of us enjoyed! This was a hike through the woods. We saw madrones and maybe second growth redwoods and oaks. I enjoyed that feeling of being surrounded by the woods. We didn't see any wildlife of significance. I'm sure wildlife was there but we just didn't see it.

I mooched a wonderful lunch at our lunch stop vista point. I forgot my lunch and was planning on just enjoying the conversation while others ate but both my companions offered me food. I got half of a delicious cheese sandwich, half of a banana, and a quarter of an apple. Pretty good mooching, eh? After lunch, we reached Skegg's point pretty quickly. We were done with the hike around noon. It was just 5 miles but it was a beautiful five miles.

Hiking at St Joseph Hill park in Los Gatos

As summer approaches and the days get longer, its time to hike in the evenings again! Tonight I'm hiking at St Joseph Hill with GLS. We are going to do a 4 mile round trip hike up the hill and back. I have been on this hike many times but its a great way to spend an evening just steps from Silicon Valley!

The hike was great. There was a nice blue sky and sun for most of the hike. We saw deer, a bob cat, a rabbit, California poppies, and Lupin among other things. We also saw lots of bikers and other hikers at this popular Los Gatos park but not so many towards sunset. Here is a picture of the bobcat

New Hiking Shoes!

I bought myself some new hiking shoes today. They are called Merrell Moab Ventilators. I feel like a little kid that just got a new toy. I can hardly wait for Saturday to come so I can try them out on a hike. They fit wonderfully and are light weight but have good foot support. I'll be hiking with L on Saturday at Nissene Marks near Santa Cruz. Then on Sunday I'll be on the GLS hike at Windy Hill. Woo Hoo. I love to hike and I love my new hiking shoes.

Getting in shape

So I'm slowly getting in better shape this year. I started going to Gold's Gym about four or five weeks ago on week days after work and climbing on the aerobic machines for about 45 minutes. I do different machines although lately I mostly go on the Precor elliptical machine. It has a nice smooth feel and doesn't stress my achilles tendons. I do like the ordinary treadmill but it does tend to stress my achilles tendons. The stationary bike is my least favorite but it does the best job on not stressing the tendons. I'm still recovering from a bout of achilles tendonitis which is why all this going on about stressing my tendons!

On weekends I prefer to go hiking to get in shape. I have been hiking at Windy Hill, Henry Cowell, Henry Coe, Shoreline Park, and Castle Rock over the last several weekends. This past weekend the hike I had hoped to go on was cancelled due to the rain. So I put on my raincoat and went to Shoreline park and hiked for nearly 2 hours on the paved bike paths. Only a few people were out there braving the cold and rain. I had a good time although walking on pavement was not a good idea for my achilles tendons. They were sore when I got home so I iced them and rested. They feel fine today.

I have lost four pounds since January 1, 2009. I weigh 180 pounds today. I have been recording my weight at fitday.com. According to them I am now only overweight and no longer obese. Hurray. I need to get down to 150 to get out of the overweight category. The exercise is really helping with the weight lose but if I want to lose weight faster I'll need to change my eating habits. I'm giving myself some slack for now on the eating. I don't want to suddenly restrict myself. I want to gradually work into eating more healthy foods and less calories.

Just checking in

Just checking in to my own blog. I'm here. I'm tired. I am looking forward to a nice nap after work.

So tired ...

Breaking up is hard to do and its also exhausting. With so many things on my mind about the break up and C. moving out I have been having trouble sleeping at night and seem to be perpetually tired. Perhaps when C. finally is moved out I will just spend a week going to bed at 8 p.m. and getting oodles of hours of sleep. I feel as if I have this huge sleep deficit to make up. Do you think congress could bail me out and give me some hours of sleep??

All of life seems a little bit on edge these days. C. and I are of course on edge with each other and the break up. Then there is the U.S. financial crisis. That is certainly on the edge. And the presidential election is putting people on edge. A day rarely goes by at work when someone doesn't speak up passionately about some aspect of the presidential race. And the prop 8 stuff has the gay community on edge. I find myself just wanting to bury my head in the sand.

Changes

So ...my life is full of changes at the moment.

I am dissolving my domestic partnership with my significant other. Essentially we are a same sex couple getting a divorce. She will be moving out in a couple of months. Its tough. I won't say much more in this public forum about this other than its a very significant change in my life and worth a mention in my blog.

Another change in my life is that I am beginning to fall into new identity of asexual lesbian. I know to some that seems a contradiction in terms but I have found a small group of like minded folks in an on-line community who understand and identify with the term. I love woman. I love to be around women. I want a serious relationship with a woman. I just don't want to have sex be part of my relationship. I have been posting and reading at the AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) site lately too. Its a new adventure of sorts. Although I must admit this having to face "coming out" again is a bit tedious. I seem to be more reluctant to come out as asexual than I was to come out as lesbian. Something to explore further.

Something that has not changed ... I'm still struggling with toe fungus, Achilles Tendinitis, and being out of shape, and generally not feeling well physically. It is a bit frustrating as I sorta know what I need to do but I just don't seem to be able to get motivated to do it. I think I just need to take things slow and worry more about not letting things get worse before I worry about making them better.

Body needs repair ...

Long time no blog but after checking out my nephew's Lego Blog I am inspired to write something in my own blog.

My body needs the following repairs:

• reduce cholesterol level in blood
• fix Achilles tendons
  
• get rid of toe nail fungus
• better eye glasses to improve vision
• probably a tooth or two needs filling
  

Last week I went to the foot doctor. He did a ultrasound of my achilles tendons and said that they look structurally OK. Or in other words, no damage from the tendinitis yet. He has told me to not hike this month or walk to work in order to rest the tendon and let it heal. Bike riding is OK as long as I don't stand up on the pedals and stress the tendon. He also has me wearing heal lifts in my shoes. He took samples of the toe nail fungus also and sent it to the lab to find out what kind of fungus it is. He will get the results back towards the end of this month and then he'll let me know what can be done for the fungus.

This week I visited the ophthalmologist and got the happy news that my eye pressure is fine and that my retina is still very much solidly attached (was detached in 1988 and fixed with emergency cryo eye surgery). I do need new glasses as my current pair is not quite the right correction. I ordered them and they will arrive in a week or so.

Soon I'll visit my general doctor about the cholesterol. I have started to cut out fatty foods and high cholesterol foods and have been eating food shown to help reduce cholesterol like flax and oat bran flakes. I did fall off the wagon so to speak this past weekend and had a wonderful juicy fatty hamburger with guacamole at Clark's burgers.

I will see my dentist in late July when she opens her new office. She is taking a break from all but emergency dental treatment until then. My teeth are not hurting but based on my abysmal dental hygiene for the past few months I suspect I have a tooth or two that need filling and some gums that are probably in bad shape. Got to get back to regular brushing and flossing and swishing the fluoride rinse.

I simply have not been caring for myself properly the past several years. I hope I can find the motivation to fix my body and keep it better maintained in the years to come.

Amusing Screen Saver

Watch Hilary bounce around:

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/hillary.htm

Dogs and Squirrel

Sunday the dogs caught a squirrel in the backyard. Charlotte raced out to save the squirrel and yelled at me to come help. I went out and pulled Astro off of the squirrel and was holding him in my arms while Charlotte held Cosmo off of the squirrel. When I looked for where the squirrel ended up, it was climbing up my leg (I had on blue jeans). Eee Gad. Who'd a thought a little old squirrel would give me such a fright. I had to put Astro down so Charlotte could hold him and I could get the squirrel off of me! While I was passing Astro over to Charlotte, the squirrel climbed up to my stomach. After Charlotte got Astro, I flicked the squirrel off of my tummy with my hands. It flew a few feet from me and landed on the ground and headed to the fence and climbed up the fence and got away. It was a young squirrel according to Charlotte and very stunned and frightened. Both Astro and Cosmo had got the squirrel in their mouths according to Charlotte but thankfully there was no blood on either the squirrel or the dogs. We took the dogs inside and blocked their backyard doggy door. They were besides themselves with excitement for the next 30 minutes or so wanting to go back outside. We didn't let them back outside until they had calmed down a little and we were sure there were no squirrels on the ground.

Another Silly Quiz

Your Life is 46% Off Track

Right now, you're taking things one day at a time. Some things are going well, but you can't help but wonder if you're getting the most out of life. It's time for you to slow down and reflect a little. You can change your life - but it's up to you!

Are You Living The Wrong Life?

Root Canal and Antibiotics

The story of my life the last week ... the affects of a root canal and antibiotics. I had a root canal started on Wednesday last week. Part I of the root canal lasted one hour. It was too complex to finish in one sitting so part II was scheduled for Saturday morning. I was sent off with a prescription for Motrin for the pain and an antibiotic to keep infection away. I was grateful for the Motrin. After the Novocaine wore off, there was pain. The Motrin took 10 minutes or so to kick in but worked like a charm once it did kill the pain.

Part II on Saturday was a long 1.5 hour session in the dentist chair. The dentist asked her assistants to take x-rays so she could be sure not to go past the end of my root canal. Well the assistants took about 7 x-rays before they found the right view for the dentist to see where my root ended. Sigh. I was exhausted and glad when it finally ended. I had more pain after the Novocaine wore off yet again. BUT within a day the pain went away and I was able to stop popping Motrin capsules. Hurray! Finally no pain in that tooth. Ever since the dentist drilled the tooth and put a crown on it the tooth it has been hurting.

The antibiotics have been a pain in the butt and the gut. Those nasty little things did keep any infection at bay but they also destroyed all those valuable bacteria in my innards that keep my digestion going well. I have been suffering from the runs from the day I started the antibiotics. UGH! I don't wish this on anyone. Thank goodness that I only have one left to take and then I'm done. Hopefully my good old bod will then let those good bacteria back into my system and my digestion will go back to normal.

Brown Rice, Brocoli, Carrots, Walnuts, Raisons ... oh my!

C. kindly made me a yummy lunch today that I am munching on right now. The title describes it. I'm drinking a new Crystal Geyser juice squeeze flavor called Pomegranate Lemonade. It is tasty.

The new job is going well. I have been doing lots of reading about satellites and the particular satellite software I will be working on. At the end of today I hit my 2 week mark at Space Systems / Loral. I got my first pay check for last week today. They conveniently have a Wells Fargo bank machine in the main lobby of SS/L so I was able to deposit the check here at work. In the future direct deposit will kick in and I won't have to worry about depositing my check in the bank.

Besides new work the other thing that has been going on lately is visiting the dentist. I got a temporary crown on my tooth about a week and a half ago. The tooth was painful so this past Wednesday I went in to have it looked at. The dentist put a different type of temporary crown on the tooth (acrylic instead of metallic). If the pain doesn't go away in a few days, it looks like that tooth is destined for a root canal. Ug. If so ... it will be my first root canal. So far the pain has not gone away and this is day two. I'm supposed to get the permanent crown on the tooth on Monday but it is looking like I may get a root canal that day instead. I have been popping Advil the past week and a half when the tooth gets painful and happily about 15 mintues after a couple of Advil, the pain is gone. Advil is my friend.

I took my first ever Yoga class last Tuesday. The class is at the Mountain View California Yoga Center. I enjoyed the class (level 1 class) and like the instructor, Lisa, and will give the class another try next Tuesday. I decided to give Yoga a try as I want to be better connected to my body, become more flexible, and learn to deal better with stress. Yoga seemed to be a perfect choice to help me with these things.

Wen tagged me - Fivers

OK ... Wen tagged me to give this a shot ... I'm game.

1. Five favorite days of the year

1. Christmas
2. Thanksgiving
3. My birthday
4. Labor day - because that usually means a camping trip!
5. Memorial day - again sometimes means a camping trip!

2. Five things you watched this week

1. The Soprano's season 3 on DVD
2. Export Control training (truly boring)
3. The Yoga instructor, Lisa, at California Yoga in Mtn. View
4. The latest Harry Potter movie
5. DVD about ants and termites (more interesting than it sounds)

3. Five things you don't want to do, but should

1. Eat more fruits and vegetables
2. Desist eating McDonalds french fries
3. Revaluate my investment choices in my 401K
4. Read preliminary design documents
5. Get my toe fungus checked out by a doctor

4. Five things you want to learn

1. JAVA
2. Yoga
3. How to play the piano
4. How satellites work
5. How to put the brakes on while going backwards on roller blades

5. Five animals you've had as pets or who have impacted you

1. Georgie Girl and Timothy, two family cats we had while growing up in Columbus, OH
2. Barney, my first pet I was responsible for, sadly I did a less than perfect job and Barney escaped, got in the furnace duct some how and died.
3. Sappho & Sascha, two python snakes that my partner had when I met her.
4. Kalamozoo, and Punzel, my brother's cats that I loved to visit and cuddle with
5. Cosmo & Astro, our dogs that impact our lives everyday

6. Five favorite pieces of clothing

1. Aslo Hiking boots
2. New 40-50 SPF sunproof long sleeve shirts
3. Stanford Blood bank t-shirt
4. Brown shorts with lots of pockets
5. Blue REI fleece vest

7. Five things you enjoy in the summer

1. the longer amounts of day light
2. warm sunny weather
3. vacations
4. hiking
5. camping

8. Five foods you don't like

1. beans
2. jalepeno peppers
3. humus
4. mushrooms
5. lentils

9. You are given $50,000 to pass out to 5 people in $10,000 cash gifts. Who do you give it to, and why

1. Charlotte, my sweetie, so she can increase her cash reserves.
2. David, my brother, so he and his wife can decrease their debt or start saving for my nephews' education
3. Bob, my brother, to help cover the cost of my nieces' education
4. Cecily, my sister, to help cover the cost of my nieces' education
5. My parents, just to thank them for all the financial support they have given me over my life.
   

10. Five things that are not where they belong

1. The key to my safety deposit box
2. My passport
3. At the moment my eye glasses (they are not on my face)
4. A stack of papers on my desk at home
5. Perhaps my dog, Cosmo (he has a knack at going where he does not belong
   

Five, Ten or Fifteen People you want to complete this:

1. no one
2. no one
3. no one
4. no one
5. no one

I got a job!

Hurray! I got a job. Space Systems Loral offered me a job this week and I accepted. I start on July 16th. My current job ends on June 29th. So I have a blissful two weeks off with no major worries. I need a vacation so this is great.

C. and I will visit Kings Canyon National Park the weekend after my NGC job ends. After we get back we are toying with the idea of a road trip up the northern California coast with the dogs. We haven't done a major trip with the dogs yet but I think it will be fun and educational. We may rent a car big enough to put the dog's kennels in so they can be safe and have more room than the tiny kennels we have in the Prius.

Month of Interviews

This has been the month of interviews. I had 5 last week. One on Wednesday with Lockheed Martin. One on Wednesday with BAE. One on Thursday with Quark. Three on Friday with Lockheed Martin. Quark is pursuing other candidates or in other words Quark is not interested in me. I don't want the job at BAE and I think the chances are slim they would offer it to me. I was just not a good match for the job. I'm still waiting to hear from Lockheed Martin. I felt good about three of the Lockheed interviews and luke warm about one.

I am also still waiting to here from Loral Space Systems since my interview with them on May 16th. I would really like to work there but the longer I don't hear the more I feel like they won't be making a job offer.

I am very tired of interviewing and job searching. I just fervently hope each day to get a job offer. I worry more and more when I don't get any offers. Sigh.

The diet I had hoped to be in the midst of has rather plateaued. I seem to be hovering around 180 lbs. Oh well at least I'm not 186 anymore. I'm hoping once I get a new job lined up I'll have more time and motivation to do the "diet" right (eat healthy, exercise more, no more I feel bummed junk food snacks).

The camping trip to Kings Canyon in July will be a nice break even though I am the campout leader for Loma Prieta GLS. It will be nice to be out in nature with C., get a break from work, and get a break from the dogs.

So the diet begins ...

TODAY.

I am keeping track of my weight lose, exercise, eating habits, etc. using fitday.com. For those curious about checking out my progress day to day I'm keeping a journal at fitday.com. So I'm starting at 185.5 lbs and shooting for 150 lbs on Sept. 9th. Possibly the one thing I like about dieting once I get started is keeping logs and records.

Just blathering

I got a replacement cell phone. No more chew marks on my little Cingular Samsung phone.

I weighed myself and I'm nearly as heavy as I have ever been at 183 lbs. I think I got up to 186 five years ago. This is motivating me a little to be healthier. I had a healthy salad for lunch yesterday and a veggie sub for dinner with fizzy water. However I lacked getting exercise yesterday. Today I had a good lunch and breakfast but gave into a yummy mocha on the way to work. I did take the dogs on a 30 minute walk so got a little bit of exercise.

Job searching carries on. I had a phone interview yesterday with Apple that I believe will lead to a face-to-face interview. I have another phone interview today at 4 p.m. with Mellanox Technologies. And I have a third phone interview on Monday at 8:30 a.m. with another group at Apple. A SWE friend of mine is pushing my resume to hiring managers at Loral in Palo Alto.

At work I am having to work the 2nd shift which I just don't like very much. I am working from noon to 10 p.m. M-F. I miss my evenings with C. We do get mornings now but it just doesn't feel the same as the evenings. Two people at work have recently found jobs. I'm so envious!

One Year Gap

Oh my ... it has been over a year since I got to my poor blog, Cathy's LOGS.

Updates ...

• The household has grown from 2 to 4 as of Feb 2006. 2 furry friends have joined us, Astro and Cosmo, extraordinary basenji dogs! Astro and Cosmo are nearly 1 year and 4 months old now.
• Work is closing down the SJ facility and moving the work to Illinois. As a result, I'm out of a job as of June 29th. If you ask me how I am, I'm likely to bore you with intense details of how much I hate job searching.
• Consumer Report -- We got a brand new 2007 sage (green) colored Toyota Prius in October and a big old King Sized bed in February. Both items are quite luxerious. I am enjoying being able to drive in the car pool lane.
• I have cut down my hiking from once a week to maybe once a month. Instead I do more dog walking, working, or movie watching. I want to get back to hiking but need to decide what to do with the dogs (take them with us on the hike, put them in the pet hotel, find a pet sitter, etc. etc.).
• C. has added another volunteer job to her list. She now volunteers at Sally Leibers office once a week for an hour or two. She also spends lots of time at the dog park with Astro and Cosmo much to their delight.
• My weight is 178 lbs. I want to get back in better physical condition and lose 30+ lbs at a nice slow rate. However ... I seem to be having difficulty find the motivation to do this. I continue to hover around the high 170s. Oh well.

I just put money in the soda machine looking forward to a Mountain Dew and instead a diet iced green tea came out. This is a decided dissappointment when you are looking for a Mtn. Dew.

Cosmo chewed up my cell phone last night. It fell out of my pocket on the couch unbeknownst to me and he found it later and had a chewfest. The front little screen with a nice clock time was punctured but the inside screen still works and the phone works. It just has loads of teeth marks on it. We got insurance on our phones with just this kind of event in mind. Perhaps I swing by the cell phone store after work and see if they can replace it with a new one.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Happy Birthday to me.

Happy Birthday to me.

Happy Birthday dear meeeeeeeee!

Happy Birthday to me!

I'm 45 years old. For more info than you ever wanted to know about your birth date.
You entered: 3/24/1961

• Your date of conception was on or about 1 July 1960 which was a Friday.
  
• You were born on a Friday under the astrological sign Aries.
  
• The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2437382.5.
  
• The golden number for 1961 is 5.
  
• The epact number for 1961 is 13.
  
• The year 1961 was not a leap year
  
• Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/15/1961 and ending 2/4/1962. You were born in the Chinese year of the Ox.
  
• As of 3/24/2006 1:23:57 PM EST
  
  
  
  • You are 45 years old.
    
  • You are 540 months old.
    
  • You are 2,348 weeks old.
    
  • You are 16,436 days old.
    
  • You are 394,477 hours old.
    
  • You are 23,668,643 minutes old
    
  • You are 1,420,118,637 seconds old
    
  
  
• Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 6.43287671232877 years old. (You're still chasing cats!)
  
• There are 365 days till your next birthday on which your cake will have 46 candles. Those 46 candles produce 46 BTUs,or 11,592 calories of heat (that's only 11.5920 food Calories!). You can boil 5.26 US ounces of water with that many candles.
  
• In 1961 there were approximately 4.2 million births in the US.
  
• In 1961 the US population was approximately 179,323,175 people, 50.6 persons per square mile.
  
• In 1961 in the US there were approximately 1,523,000 marriages (8.5%) and 393,000 divorces (2.2%)
  
• In 1961 in the US there were approximately 1,712,000 deaths (9.5 per 1000)
  
• 
  Your birthstone is Aquamarine
  
• Your birth tree is Hazelnut Tree, the Extraordinary
  
  
  Charming, undemanding, very understanding, knows how to make an impression, active fighter for social cause, popular, moody and capricious lover, honest and tolerant partner, precise sense of judgement.
  
  
  
  
• The moon's phase on the day you wereborn was in its first quarter.
  

You Should Weigh 171

If you weigh less than this, you either have a fast metabolism or are about to gain weight. If you weigh more than this, you may be losing a few pounds soon!

How Much Do You Weigh?

Pretty spooky ... I weighed 170 lbs yesterday and 171 only a couple days ago.

You Are Sunshine

Soothing and calm You are often held up by others as the ideal But too much of you, and they'll get burned You are best known for: your warmth Your dominant state: connecting

What Type of Weather Are You?

170 lbs

171.0 lbs

Despite not working out much, I am losing weight. I think it is because I haven't been eating big meals.

173.0 lbs

Finally got to the gym! Had a decent workout.

Work is still busy but I have a couple days vacation tomorrow and Monday. Phew. I'm here at work late trying to finish up my latest assignment before I take off for vacation. I haven't been able to fit in work outs. Phooey.

173.5 lbs

Work is incredibly busy so I sacraficed the work out yesterday but managed to squeeze it in today.

173.0 lbs

173.5 lbs

175.0 lbs

177.0 lbs

177.0 lbs

Worked out at the very end of the day today. It felt good to get right back in the gym after missing day.

I was too busy at work today to fit in a work out. Sigh.

178.0 lbs

Bad day yesterday at work. Today was OK but I'm still recovering from yesterday. It wasn't a very good Valentine's day although dinner out after work was nice. Poor sweetie of mine got an earful on the bad day at work though.

177.0 lbs

179.0 lbs

I led a hike for GLS on Sunday. It went well. The weather was awesome and the scenery was nice. It was a mostly woodsy hike with some exposed parts with nice views of the woodsy valleys. We saw some nice big redwoods in the valley on the Pomponio trail.

177.0 lbs

Ah shot ... puppy class is cancelled tomorrow. The instructor has a back injury and has been forbidden to go back to work this weekend. So the lessons will start hopefully next Saturday (if her back is well).

177.0 lbs

Don't you just hate it when the sunny days fall during the week when you are stuck indoors. Grrrr! I hope the sunny weather holds out for my hike on Sunday and for puppy training class on Saturday.

Its my night to cook. I would like cooking better if I could walk in the kitchen and the menu is all planned out with instructions on how to cook it. It is the deciding what to cook that I don't like so much. The actual cooking isn't so bad once I get started. I much prefer washing dishes. I wonder what the ratio would be of folks who woud rather cook than do the dishes vs those who would rather do the dishes than cook.

176.0 lbs

176.0 lbs

177.0 lbs

Astro and Cosmo

178.0 lbs

Here is a picture of the new puppies on my lap. Astro is the reddish brown and white puppy while Cosmo is the black and white puppy.

177.5 lbs

The puppies are here. They are small and cute cute cute. They wiggle. They bite. They chew. They whine. They sleep. They cuddle. They play. They pee and poo -- the usual puppy stuff.

Cosmo is a bit of a bully while Astro is sweeter. But Astro will let Cosmo know when he is too rough. Astro lay on my lap and slept yesterday while Cosmo found Charlotte's lap. It was amazing how wiggly they were one minute and how still the next when they fell asleep.

I'm a bit overwhelmed by the puppies. I worry that I am doing things wrong in terms of training them. I'll hang in there and follow Charlotte's lead on training until we start puppy kindergarten on Feb 11th.

179 lbs

The puppies are coming! The puppies are coming! Cosmo and Astro are on their way. In about 35 minutes they will be getting off the jet and be picked up by Charlotte! When I get home I'll meet them.

180.0 lbs

181.5 lbs

Got myself to the gym today after a lazy weekend. I was going to go geocaching Saturday but it was cancelled and all I ended up doing was running errands with Charlotte and not getting any exercise on Saturday. Sunday was spent getting to Berkeley and watching nieces Eva and Marlena in a gymnastics meet: an afternoon with my butt on a chair. Oh well. I'm back on track today.

Another day of not working out. Uh Oh.

I didn't work out today or weigh in. It has been such a roller coaster week that I decided to just rest today and not push myself to do anything in paritcular.

178.5 lbs

179.5 lbs

Forgot my shorts today so no playing hamster on the treadmill. Running in jeans just doesn't work for me. Instead I took a forty minute walk along the Coyote Creek trail of which part borders my work parking lot. I decided not to weigh myself today after the walk. So tune in tomorrow for the latest weight.

Is TV bad for your mental health? Charlotte thinks so and a book I'm reading thinks so. The book is "Beating the Blues : New Approaches to Overcoming Dysthymia and Chronic Mild Depression" by Michael E. Thase, Susan S. Lang. But I love to watch TV. Is my love of TV making my mental health worse? Charlotte had me tipping towards trying to wean myself off TV yesterday but I'm not quite convinced yet. I keep remembering how much I enjoyed my TV before Charlotte came into my life and how it didn't feel like it was detrimental to my mental health. I find myself imagining ways to watch TV secretly so Charlotte doesn't know I'm doing it. Why do I feel a need to hide it from Charlotte? Maybe because I'm ashamed of my TV watching. I might wander around the internet and see what other opinions I can find on the affect of TV on mental health.

181.0 lbs

181.0 lbs

180.0 lbs

182.0 lbs

Name That Puppy!

We haven't picked out names yet for our puppies. Any suggestions? We have some in mind but could use more suggestions.

181.0 lbs

CCC and I have purchased two male Basenji Puppies due to arrive on Feb 1, 2006. Here they are as of January 8, 2006.

We ended up picking this breed based on

• desire for a dog that doesn't bark a lot - Basenjis don't bark (although they do yodel and whine)
• desire for a clean dog - Basenjis clean themselves a bit like cats do
• desire for a short haired dog
• desire for a unique dog
• desire for an intelligent dog
• desire for a dog that isn't too large
• we liked the pictures of the Basenjis in the books we poured through and on the internet

We got two dogs because there will be times we will be leaving the dogs at home (going to work, hiking at parks that don't allow dogs, etc.) and we didn't want to leave one dog all by his/her lonesome. We picked males because that was what was available from the breeder we choose to purchase them from. The dogs will keep each other company when we have to leave them home alone.

CCC will be roughly 75% reponsible for the dog care and I'm roughly 25% responsible for it -- mostly because I'm off at work 8 hours a day and CCC is home most days and she is the one who really really wanted to have pet dogs and she is more experienced with animal care. She has had many other pets in her life but never a dog.

We have stacks of books from the library about dog care sitting in the living room. CCC is busily reading them and figuring out how to prepare for the arrival of our new family members. I haven't started reading any yet but will soon. We also intend on signing up for puppy training classes.

For those who want to know even more about Basenji's check out the comments on this post with a link to a blog by two Basenjis: Scootis & Squish.

182.0 lbs

183.0 lbs

182.0 lbs

182.0 lbs

182.5 lbs

183 lbs

184 lbs

The holiday damage is ... drum roll please ... 6 pounds. So it is off to the races yet again to shed those unwanted pounds.

It was worth it. The food was delicious on the holidays and I got to sleep in every single day and I didn't feel guilty for indulging. If I am going to indulge, I might as well enjoy it and this holiday I actually did enjoy it for once.

I have been extraordinarily busy at work. I haven't had time to work out or blog until now. I got a bit of a reprieve on having to work so hard yesterday. I was told that my due date for one task was not this Thursday but could extend into after the holidays are over. Phew. That gives me some breathing space.

We went out to dinner last night at an Indian restaurant called Shiva. I enjoyed my dish of butter chicken although it was a bit spicy for me. I'm very sensitive to spicy foods. I ate lots of bread and rice to ease the pain from the spicy food.

178.0 lbs

178.5 lbs

Here is my weight record from 11/3/05 to today, 12/14/05. Went up and down the 5 lb roller coaster.

179.5 lbs

181.0 lbs

You taste like tofu. You are a bit tasteless, but
you feel as smooth as silk. You're good for
the body and are preferred in the company of
hippies and health enthusiasts.


How do you taste?
brought to you by Quizilla

182.0 lbs

Having fun today mucking about with my Blog template. I added links to other blogs I read every so often. I want to figure out how to put my flickr photos on my blog page. I'll go have a read on flickr's pages to search for the answer.

Saturday, C. and I did a movie marathon. We watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, followed by Shopgirl, followed by Walk The Line. I enjoyed all three movies but I was mightly restless by the third movie.

Sunday we went to the Gay and Lesbian Sierra Club holiday party. There was a great turn out of 20+ people. A lot of very good cooks attended the party and brought great dishes. It was exceedingly difficult to not pig out on all the wonderful dishes. As a matter of fact, I did pig out. The white elephant gift exchange was a hoot. The gifts were outlandish and we all had fun trading the gifts and laughing at the particularly weird ones. C. proclaimed that the fuzzy "It" was the best one. We ended up with a castenet and gave away a couple of banana split glass bowls.

We got all our presents wrapped last night and put in boxes to be sent to Philadelphia and Cleveland. C. will be taking the boxes to the post office today.

182.0 lbs

181.0 lbs

181.0 lbs

Sending Packages at Christmas

Here are results of my research on sending packages from Mountain View CA to Philadelphia PA of size 10 x 10 x 10 inches and weight from 1 to 5 pounds with a sending date of Dec. 6th. Fed-Ex ground turned out to be the best for packages weighing over 2 pounds while the USPS was the best for packages under 2 pounds. DHL and UPS were both more expensive. In terms of time of delivery, the USPS parcel post was the slowest at 8 days while Fed-Ex ground was the fastest at 5 days and DHL and UPS both came in at 7 days.

182.0 lbs

I gave a pint of blood this morning. The cookies and juice after giving blood were good. I had about four cookies and two cups of OJ. No strenuous exercising for 24 hours. That's cool as I got in my exercise at 7:30 a.m. this morning before I gave blood. Tomorrow I'll hold off on exercising till after 11 a.m.

Not sure if I am going to get a work out in today at work. So I might not have a weigh in today. Probably a good thing since I ate like a piggy yesterday -- the See's candy and M&M's we got for early Christmas presents were hard to resist. Also I was eating to feel better -- I have to come up with a better way to feel better that doesn't pack on the pounds.

Had a nice hike at Coyote Hills on Saturday. It was a very crisp sunny day. Sunday was a lazy day at home spent reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of something or other, watching Tennessee beat Stanford in women's basketball on TV, and doing a jig saw puzzle.

182.0 lbs

181.5 lbs

180.5 lbs

180.0 lbs

180.0 lbs

It was a fun long weekend. Thursday and Saturday were full of family visiting and Thanksgiving feasts (one feast at my brother's house in San Francisco and one feast at Charlotte's parent's house in Carmel). I'm emotionally drained from all the socializing and pining for a day or two all to myself!

Friday we were going to go hiking but it was rainy out so instead we went to see the movie The Whale and the Squid. The movie was good. After the movie we hit the crowded stores to buy some Christmas stuff. Yesterday we went on a long hilly hike. We climbed 2500 feet and hiked roughly 8 or 9 miles. I'm really wiped out physically today from that hike. The long steep hills were what really wore me out. We hiked for 6 hours and 20 minutes. Phew. I loved it but it was tiring.

I now need another vacation to recover from my vacation. Instead, here I am at work. At least my next vacation is only 4 weeks away. I get Dec 23 '05 to Jan 2, '06 off from work.

181.5 lbs

Two thanksgiving dinners coming tomorrow and Saturday nights. Hopefully the big hikes we have planned will help us burn off the calories we eat at the feasts: 8 to 13 miles at Calero County park on Friday and 18 miles on Sunday (Santa Cruz mountains to the beach).

182.5 lbs

Another lame excuse for the weight gain ... I gained muscle not fat!

184 lbs

Eee Gad ... 5 pounds gained in one weekend! :-( :-( :-(

Possible explanations:

• I ate a lot this past weekend -- more than four mile hikes on Saturday and Sunday could burn.
• The time of the month has me gaining water weight -- seems a bit early though at 10 days till my period and 5 pounds seems a bit excessive for a little water weight gain.
• The weight machine was recalibrated over the weekend -- my favorite explanation but I doubt its true.
• I weighed myself after lunch in the afternoon rather than in the morning before lunch -- but I don't think that could account for 5 pounds.

Needless to say ... I'm quite disappointed in this weight gain. Now I weigh more than when I started to try and lose weight ... Grrrrr. I'm exercising regularly. I just have to stop eating so much calorie filled junk food.

179 lbs

180.5 lbs

180 lbs

181 lbs

Time to rethink the weight goal. Its Nov 15 and I'm 181. That means to get down to 160 by Christmas I have to lose (181-160)/(Dec 25-Nov15) = 0.52 lb per day or 3.64 lb per week. I think losing 2 lbs a week is more reasonable. So my new goal is going to be 170 lbs by Christmas.

This test result feels like a good fit to me -- especially the bit about my first date being "walking around aimlessly and talking." I really like that first date. I definitely have a laid back flirting style.

Your Heart Is Green

Love completes you, but that doesn't mean you seek it out. When love comes your way, you integrate it peacefully into the rest of you life.

Your flirting style: Laid back

Your lucky first date: Walking around aimlessly and talking

Your dream lover: Is both enthusiastic and calm

What you bring to relationships: Balance

What Color Heart Do You Have?

180 lbs

I have been trying to lose weight and get in better shape lately with a dim goal of getting down to 160 lbs by Christmas and continuing on to an eventual goal of 140 lbs by whenever. Last week I weighed in at 183 lbs, perhaps the heaviest I have ever been. Ug. I can feel the extra weight when I go hiking and hit those steep hills. It pains me to have regained all the weight I lost several years ago. I guess I'm just your typical yo yo type. I haven't figured out how to get myself to maintain the weight when I reach my weight goal.

This week I have gone to the gym at work every day so far and worked out on the treadmill for 40 minutes. I spend 5 minutes at a walking pace to warm up, run at 5.2 mph for 30 minutes, and spend 5 minutes at a walking pace cooling down. I do a wee bit of stretching afterwards. I probably should do more stretching but I don't. The treadmill machine reports to me that for my efforts I have burned 360 calories and walked/run 3 miles.

I have had a good week at work. I am at the coding stage of my current project and really my favorite thing to do at work is write code. I thought my favorite part would be designing the code but after one experience of that, I prefer writing the code from an exisiting design to doing the design. I think if I wasn't so new at this work, I might prefer the design work. Its just hard to design something when you don't know much about how things work.

This weekend I plan on going geocaching by bike on Sunday in Half Moon bay with my geocaching buddies. Before we start we are having a pancake breakfast at V's house. Yummmm! ccc is joining us for the breakfast but has to work Sunday at noon so will pass on the geocaching. I'm not sure what ccc and I will be up to tomorrow -- Frontrunners, hiking, and/or doing chores are possible things we might do.

180 lbs

181 lbs

181 lbs

182 lbs

183 lbs